This week I am going over using or not using and in a list. The authors I have been assigned to read in my classes often toy with using and in list form. Using ands instead of commas seems to give the next word in the sentence added emphasis. This also can slow pace down in order to cause the reader to focus more on the list. The alternative is also true as a list without an and seems less emphasized and often, but not always, comes with a faster pace. I used examples from my own article on Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games.
Using all ands instead of commas:
Readers learn early on in the story that protagonist Katniss does nearly everything for her family. She does nearly all of the housework and gets the food and clothes her family and still has time for school.
In this sentence I was attempting to draw focus to what this character does, and the overall impressiveness of these actions. However, i'll admit this was not an intentional usage, but looking back at this paper I prefer this way over the more normal alternative.
Using a list with no commas:
These Hunger Games are used by this totalitarian government as a means of reminding the people who is in charge, and why rebellion is a bad idea. Because forcing people to witness children essentially being kidnapped, forced into an arena, followed by forcing them to kill each other is a great to show how much a government cares.
In this case I did intend to use this grammatical rule. I was attempting to put the focus on what follows the list and not on the actual list itself. This is of course the exact opposite of what I wanted in the first example.
Trevor,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you need to go back through this and edit the grammatical mistakes that you have, I noticed quite a few while reading through this.
Secondly, when reading the instructions that Mrs. Buyserie gives us for our blogs, she gives two separate parts. Part 1 is to give a brief overview of which pattern/s we will be focusing on this week. Part 2 is to write 300-500 words on it. You did write 301 words in your blog, but be sure that you listen to the instructions because although your intro paragraph is great - you really need to lengthen the second part out.
Now let us talk about the actual assignment. You really used both forms of the pattern to perfection (besides the spelling & grammar mistakes). I cannot say where else in your blog you could add any other form of the pattern because the rest of the post is just you describing how you incorporated the pattern into the section.
Ryan
Trevor,
ReplyDeleteI think that your writing is well but I noticed a few grammatical mistakes. I am also curious if you have thought about using writing from another class? I think you are intelligent and it comes out with your understanding and explanations of the use of the grammar, but I would like to see what some of your writing outside of this class. I do like how you use the “and” in your list though, it makes the list itself seem longer and more important. I can also appreciate how you used the second list with only commas to make the last part of the sentence more impactful, instead of the list itself. That is a great technique that I am going to use now (I hope you don’t mind me taking that from you).
Damian
Trevor,
ReplyDeleteYour blog post was constructed very well. You show a clear understanding of the patterns that were required. The two comments before mine kind of say what I was thinking while I read your post--especially what Damion said. I think it would be helpful if you practiced your patterns in less of an instructing way, if that makes sense. I would have loved to read something you had written before, or even a fun story you could have shared where you were able to use these patterns. Other than, keep up the good work!